Trying New Things & Staying Connected: A Therapist’s Perspective
Introduction
As a psychologist, I often talk with patients about the importance of social connection, the benefits of novelty, and how powerful it can be to bring more joy, play, and presence into our lives. What I don’t always share is how much these same practices matter in my own life — and how meaningful it has been for me lately to try new things purely for connection, curiosity, and fun.
Over the past year, two new hobbies gently reminded me of something I often tell patients: it’s not just what we do that supports emotional wellbeing, but who we do it with — and how willing we are to be beginners together.
Learning Mah Jongg: Connection Through Something New
Recently, I decided to finally learn how to play Mah Jongg — a game I grew up watching my grandmother play with her friends. For her, it was never just a game. It was a ritual. A reason to gather. A consistent source of laughter, friendship, and joy.
As Mah Jongg has grown in popularity with younger generations, I realized it could be a meaningful way to stay connected with others and even deepen family ties when visiting Florida. Three close friends were interested too, so we signed up for lessons together.
None of us knew what we were doing. We felt confused more than once, laughed often, and leaned on each other through the learning curve. When we finally played our first full game, I somehow won — pure beginner’s luck. But the win wasn’t the point.
Learning something new together created a shared experience that ordinary conversations don’t always provide. Now, we have a weekly ritual — something joyful, grounding, and dependable — that helps us stay connected in a way that feels intentional and nourishing.
Needlepoint With My Daughter: Learning Side by Side
Around the same time, my daughter and I decided to take up needlepoint together. We had no experience, so we relied on YouTube tutorials, pausing every few seconds, undoing our stitches, and trying again.
What surprised me was how quickly the focus shifted away from “doing it right” and toward simply being together. There was something special about learning side by side instead of falling into the familiar parent-as-teacher dynamic. We were equals — curious, patient, occasionally frustrated, and often laughing.
That experience quietly sent a powerful message: it’s okay to be new at something. It’s okay to make mistakes. And learning doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. Those are lessons that feel deeply protective — for children and adults alike.
Why Trying New Things Matters (From a Psychological Perspective)
There’s a reason these experiences felt so good — and it’s not accidental.
Novelty boosts mood and motivation. New experiences activate dopamine pathways linked to learning, pleasure, and engagement.
Shared activities deepen relationships. We bond through doing, not just talking. Shared experiences create memories and emotional closeness.
Being a beginner softens perfectionism. New activities remind us that participation matters more than performance.
Social connection supports long-term mental health. Meaningful relationships reduce stress, improve emotional regulation, and increase life satisfaction.
Simply put, trying new things helps us feel more alive — especially when we don’t do it alone.
How We Help Patients Build Connection
At Upper East Side Psychology, we often work with people who feel disconnected, lonely, or stuck in routines that no longer feel fulfilling. Many adults want deeper connection but aren’t sure where to begin — especially while balancing work, family, and everyday responsibilities.
In therapy, we help patients:
Identify interests that feel energizing and authentic
Explore hobbies, groups, or communities aligned with their values
Build confidence around trying new things
Strengthen existing relationships and create new ones
Develop social routines that feel realistic and sustainable
Challenge perfectionistic beliefs that make experimentation feel intimidating
Reconnect with parts of themselves they may have lost touch with
Therapy isn’t just about reducing distress — it’s about helping people build fuller, richer, more connected lives. Sometimes that starts with something as small as saying yes to a new activity.
What These Experiences Reminded Me
Mah Jongg didn’t just give me a new hobby — it deepened friendships and connected me to family history. Needlepoint didn’t just offer creativity — it gave me intentional, meaningful time with my daughter that I know we’ll both remember.
Trying new things isn’t about mastery. It’s about openness, flexibility, and connection. Joy and curiosity are skills — and they’re ones we can continue practicing at any stage of life.
A Gentle Invitation
If you’ve been feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, or stuck in a routine, consider this a gentle invitation to try something new. Join a class. Pick up a hobby. Reach out to someone. Explore an activity you’ve always been curious about.
Being a beginner can be one of the most emotionally enriching places to be.
Interested in Support? We’re Here to Help.
At Upper East Side Psychology, we help individuals build meaningful lives grounded in connection, purpose, and emotional wellbeing. If you’re struggling to find fulfillment through activities or relationships, therapy can offer clarity and support.
We offer free consultations to answer questions and help you take the first step.
You don’t have to navigate this alone — we’re here when you’re ready.
Comments